I went through a rigmarole of emotional turbulence growing up from childhood to adulthood. In particular, I didn’t know when to have what kind of emotion in certain situations and how to express them appropriately. I never really took offence when someone did something ‘ideally’ wrong towards me nor ever bothered to express any displeasure…until I was taught otherwise.
People would express shock at my nonchalant attitude about a wrongdoing, how they could never tolerate such misbehaviour, and encourage me to speak up in any way I can to ensure deterrence.
Then, I became an angry person, always offended by people at all times. I wouldn’t overlook any wrong even if it was not intentional, I had to speak my mind. At that time, it was important to express myself and make sure people understood me, and also avoid being taken advantage of.
While being expressive is not a bad thing in itself, the way it is done and the mindset with which it is done matter a lot. It was always from a place of hurt and offence, like what the person did to me had a bearing on who I am and how I am perceived by them.
I never for a moment thought that a person’s behaviour or attitude towards me speaks more about who they are and not who I am. Taking people’s actions and attitudes personally is harmful to yourself and a dangerous way to relate with the world around you. People are who they are regardless of who you are, the earlier you understand this principle, the better for you.
A person’s attitude is not a reflection of your person but of that person. When you understand this, it will guide you in how you react and respond to people and even situations. If you have to alter who you are every time you meet a different person to accommodate them (especially in reacting negatively), you will soon lose yourself and your essence such that you would become unrecognizable even to yourself.
Expressing emotions such as anger, hurt, hate, resentment, repulsion, regret, guilt has ripple effects that transcend the present. As a co-creator, you are creating in every moment whatever you are creating in the present, it is the law of the Universe. Whatever you do not want, don’t dwell on it.
I do not mean this to say you should tolerate and accept people’s bad behaviour. What I am saying is there is a difference between reacting to negative things and responding to them. Treat every wrongdoing towards you individually, as what they are…wrongdoings, not as attacking the wrongdoer. It is not about the doer but the doing. And if such unpleasantness and negativity persist, remove yourself from them no matter how difficult or impossible it may seem.
This is where self-awareness, self-control, and self-mastery come to play.
How To Respond To People And Situations
We are all interconnected. One thoughtless reactive action can wreak untold havoc. As we grow spiritually, we must attempt to grow into a state of non-judgementalism and be more unconditional in our capacity to be more loving, tolerant, and forgiving of others. Be mindful to not speak in anger, rather redirect your speech in prayerful meditation.
Use your words to heal, uplift, and bless everyone. When you want to react….wait! It’s important to practice the spiritual act of waiting because so much more is revealed in time. The process of not reacting is a spiritual process that develops your awareness, makes you more conscious, and opens you up to listening to the voice of divine wisdom causing you to see things from a broader perspective. A conscious person is more compassionate. Happiness is not possible without self-discipline.
We have to be completely free from all negative conditioning, complexes, all unhealthy likes and dislikes, prejudices so that we may have absolute neutrality in all situations we are faced with. The creator always reveals His vastness and infinite wisdom to mortal minds over time.
We need to work on ourselves so that in a moment of forgetfulness, we do not become reactive and hurt anyone who has done something that according to our mortal perception is wrong or hurtful.
Our perception of reality can change our reality and through our words and actions, we can change that reality for others. If we choose to see the sunshine, that is what we’ll see and we’ll not give power to dark powers that loom to spoil the day. When through a lack of consciousness, we decide/choose to give the power of our good feeling to someone else who is excessively critical; then we allow our good feeling and joy to be clouded by their negativity. Makes us spiral down and down into the mud.
Never accept another person’s reality as your own. Do not place too much importance on other people’s opinions of you, no matter who they are and how close or revered they may be, unless it makes you a better human being.
One of the great laws of spirituality is one must be a severe judge of oneself and the most understanding friend to others. Life is what we allow it to be. Train your mind to see good in every situation.
No good has ever come out from reacting. Reacting prevents us from controlling our reality. Reacting is operating on a low frequency, which is low vibration and it gets transferred to others.
The best way to get light is when on the verge of reacting. Every time you resist the urge to react, you are collecting light and your willpower is strengthened. This practice will give you self-control, strong confidence and when you can control yourself, you can control the events of your life and direct them in a way that is harmonious.
You’re no longer a victim of circumstances, instead, you become the controller of circumstances. If you cannot control yourself, then you cannot control the conditions of your life. The same is true for resisting the urge to say something negative even about yourself, which can break you. Words are expressed thoughts.
Life is 1% seeing and 99% unseeing. The 1% that we can see is a limited and false reality, whereas the 99% can only be seen when we go beyond the 5 senses. The paradox is that most people rely on the 1% they can see. And as a result, we are left to experience only 1% of life froth with limitations and struggles of all kinds.
The truth is, our life is a reflection of our consciousness, we get what we are. And we see things as who we are, through the distortion of our filters, through our barrier of pain. When we give in to impulsive behaviours, we create more problems for ourselves. Reacting causes us to be victims of our false selves. We need to prevent ourselves from becoming a slave to our burden of pain.
We must see the light that exists in the darkness and follow it, even in our anger and/or frustrations. We must hold on to a positive way of looking at every event or situation. And to look back in a time of darkness and count the miracles and blessings we’ve received from the second wisdom in order to see how far we have come.
Be tolerant and act with grace. A good way to overcome resistance is to always act in consultation with your own divinity and intuition. Apply your humanity, your compassion, and your carefulness as you stay present and find your perfection of God in each moment, and with the help of prayers, use these qualities to restore harmony.
We must appeal to the higher angel of our nature. Developing healthy ways of using our ego to do the right thing as opposed to reacting from the false self. We must align ourselves with the divine so that we may become an extension of the creative presence on earth.
True love, removes suffering and brings joy and happiness. The healthiest form of change always transpires through the process of evolution. We must take into account the law of love and evolution as we create change. Love makes everything easy, faith makes everything possible and hope makes everything work.
Our perception of life creates our reality. By choosing to direct our thoughts, our feelings, our words, actions, and attitudes consciously and positively, we can transform and improve everything around us.